By: Natasha Karenina Wijaya
I see her but she’s
someone I don’t recognize
Her once bright wide eyes,
dissolved by the waves and replaced
by weariness and dark sketched lines
It looks as though she stayed up crying,
though it’s difficult to tell apart
her tears from the water which overwhelms
her thoughts and emotions, submerging her brain,
leaving her without –
breath
And I no longer recognize her cheeks
what once was flushed rosy
now erased pale white, blotched
with trickles of blue green veins
It looks as though all the color
had been scared right off her skin
When new realities have finally settled
and sends her flying deeper into some unknown,
lacking self-control
But once in a while I catch a glimpse
of the girl I do recognize
The girl I used to see in every
puddle, every turned-off screen, every mirror
The girl my tired eyes fail to recognize
in this poorly lit photograph,
a self-portrait of me
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